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I Like to Watch

Eileene’s been playing L.A. Noire, and I’ve been watching.

Watching is the ideal way to enjoy it. The production values are high; the celebrated facial simulation, in particular, may not live up to the hype, but it is very good. A promise of things to come. The strategic interface, seamlessly fitting into the setting as your detective’s notebook, works smoothly. There’s lots of eye candy to appreciate when you aren’t forced to concentrate on gunfights and navigating traffic—that is to say, when you’re playing.

Because there’s a lot of gunfights and driving. Despite being a detective game, examining clues and questioning suspects comprises only a small fraction of your activity. Gunfights are about as common as detectivizing, and between any two other acts, you’ll have to handle your own driving. Eileene says it handles badly, and I believe her. Chasing suspects on foot seems pretty clumsy, too.

More to the point, it doesn’t seem to add anything to the game, which seems unable to decide whether to offer a mystery (or series of mysteries), or to treat you as glorified beat cop, which I consider a design error. The action sequences don’t move the story much. Most of them don’t move the story at all, as they are emergency responses to APBs: officer down, armed robber, suicide threat. They’re quick but numerous, pointless, and handled by simple rote. I don’t know whether the many gunfights and the endless, ubiquitous driving were a decision to pad out gameplay, or a sad attempt to mimic an open environment, or a muffed job to appeal to two very different audiences, but between the hassle and insignificance of 90%+ of the game, watching someone else is the way to go.

Lots of eye candy, none of the frustration, you can walk away from the screen and get a sandwich during all the pointless driving, and you can easily chime in with suggestions during the occasional investigation, since those aren’t in real time. Just find yourself a patsy to do all the legwork.

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