Set-Up Line
Sometimes ideas just spring upon you fully ripened, whole and entire in themselves, like Athena erupting from the head of Zeus. I had just such a moment this afternoon, in reply to someone speaking tongue-in-cheek about what makes Baby Jesus cry. Given that the people most likely to take that argument seriously are the same people who will use it to argue for the death penalty, for jailing dissidents, for launching unjust wars, and generally lashing out at the world, it struck me that if liberal agenda make Jesus—Prince of Peace, the professional dissident, the guy who was willing to die to get across the point that we should be good to one another, yes, even to our enemies—cry, then just about anything must make Jesus cry.
What a crybaby. The son of God really doesn’t come from the same fire-and-brimstone as his old man, eh?
Then it popped out, whole and entire in itself: “Show me a virgin birth, and I’ll show you a Momma’s Boy.”
The line doesn’t stand so well on its own; Jesus was a caring, if confused, soul, and so could reasonably be called a sissy by the kind of asshole who declares war in his name. The irony is lost, and with it, the humor. But in context, it’s a terrific line, if I do say so myself.
It works so well that it seems obvious in retrospect. Maybe too obvious. For all I know, the joke is original with me, but honestly, I’d be flabbergasted if someone—probably several independent someones—came up with it, too. So I won’t be getting rich printing it on bumper stickers. That’s okay; I’ll settle for making someone on the forum spit coffee on his monitor.