Taller and Heavier
While flipping through a book called Oops!, I came across this story:
In the 1960s editors of the Chinese Communist quarterly National Construction wanted to make it clear that China under Chairman Mao could in no way be confused with Germany under Adolf Hitler. They pointed out the striking dissimilarities between the two men:
“Adolf Hitler was 5 feet, 6 inches tall and weighted 143 pounds. He was renowned for his spellbinding oratory, relations with women, and annihilation of a minority people. In his last years, he suffered from insanity and delusions of grandeur. Chairman Mao is taller and heavier.”
So. File that under the same heading as the self-incriminating spam I’ve been getting. The very idea that someone decided it was necessary to point out differences in the first place speaks volumes. But my point is that there’s something very current about this denial, like the women/coffee game.
Did I lose you? Okay, there’s a parlor game of my own invention, inspired by a “Bob and Dave” comic strip, in which Dave claims to like his women like he likes his coffee: cold, black, and bitter. Bob claims he likes his women like he likes his shoes: loose and smelly, with their tongues hanging out. The last two panels are much the same. The challenge of the women/coffee game is to take any given noun and turn it into a three-point comparison to the kind of women someone may like, ideally without pausing to think your way through it.
Now, apply this basic mechanic to the leader of the free world. Name any sorry excuse for a human being, past of present. List several defining qualities of this blemish on humanity. Then add the line: “George Bush is taller and heavier.” Ta-dah! Instant political commentary.
Charles Manson was 5’7” and 140 pounds. [Taken from his 1967 driving license.] He was the center of a personality cult that robbed banks and committed a string of brutal murders, taking a cue from his incoherent babblings. Called to task for his own crimes and those of his followers, he denied all responsibility, although he embraced the behavior as sensible. George Bush is taller and heavier.