Ten Important Lessons Compter Games Have Taught Me
1. The universe is populated by entities seeking to exterminate us, even if the attempt is doomed and means certain death for themselves. Empires seeking a peace agreement want only sufficient time to rearm.
2. Any being from another planet, another plane of existence, or an experimental scientific facility is irredeemably evil.
3. Pick up everything you see and carry it with you until used as a critical element in a problem’s solution. This includes lawn tools, other people’s personal mail, autographed photos of Jean Harlowe, and anything stripped from a corpse.
4. The more complicated an object’s acquisition is, the more valuable the object will prove.
5. Immediately push any button you see. You may push it repeatedly, but be sure to press it an odd number of times.
6. In a desperate situation, look for the nearest crate and smash it open. Crates typically contain weapons, ammunition, medicine, and other survival gear. Be careful, however, not to smash any crate you can climb to reach an otherwise inaccessible location until you have explored that location thoroughly.
7. A hearty meal will cure any ill, including gunshot wounds.
8. Evil people can be identified by appearance alone. Telltales include sharp, pointy features (peaked eyebrows, superfluous equipment spikes, slanted eyes, thin smirks), red backlighting, and outfits similar to, but perceptibly darker than, others nearby.
9. Few things are more important to the long-term health of a state than an efficient transportation system.
10. Upon discovering a successful tactic, use it repeatedly and indefinitely. An enemy will never, ever adapt to it or employ new countermeasures.